June 9th

WARNING - THIS IS SUPER LONG SO FEEL FREE TO SKIM - I WON'T KNOW!!!

Practical things - there is an intern who comes to visit you in the late afternoon to check in on how you are feeling and take BP and temp and weight. Then they come around in the morning for the same purpose. You aren't supposed to move much before they get here so you are completely relaxed when they show up. Also, glad I brought my earplugs - that fountain outside is rather loud and I needed to have my window open for some fresh air.

Slept in my sleep number bed last night. Never had one before. Not sure where I should set it for most comfort. Fun to play with. TMI coming up - I usually get up to pee 3-5 times a night. Got up once last night. I usually take 3 antihistamines per night for hives. Took 0 last night - mostly because I wasn't sure I was allowed to. 0 hives. And that's after a horrid night last Saturday night where the hives attacked my larynx. Coincidence? Remains to be seen. But I seem to be hive free this morning.

Thinking about Dr. G's talk yesterday. Very powerful. First of all, as you probably know, he talks a mile a minute and he knows and understands his material so well that it seems that he never has to think before he talks. Me? My brain is so foggy right now that this talent seems monumental. I'd have to think if someone asked me my name - fortunately I am wearing a name tag.

He presented a slideshow on the the things that people who are successful here do. Of course I can hardly remember any of them, but I am hoping to score a copy from the office tomorrow. The one slide that really resonated with me is that we are all looking for magic to make us better - there is a pill, or advice, or a technique that will turn it all around for us. I remember reading The Pleasure Trap quite a while ago, and I plowed through it because I felt really certain that at some point in the book, maybe even the very last page, that the authors would tell me how to overcome this. There was surely a strategy, a trick that I hadn't yet discovered, that would reveal the secret, the magic. Ha! There wasn't and I was so disappointed. In fact, I don't think I really digested the book - I just read it to find the angle that would fix me. Now I know I have to re-read it because my frame of mind at the time colored my understanding.

One of the things that I learned years ago that I had forgotten is that it is okay to be hungry. It doesn't really hurt, at least physically, and it doesn't do me harm. And it feels powerful to acknowledge hunger and to choose to ignore it for whatever reason. Like right about now, yup, that growling of my stomach and that really empty feeling sure seems like hunger to me. But I am choosing to ignore it so that I can try to get healthier. Yup, that's me, Susan the all-powerful! Bow down, knaves!

Was reading a Dr. G article on strategy for health. This little part struck me - he talks about the things other people try to do to get to you to conform - they ask you "What's the point in being healthy if there is no joy in life?" or "you are no fun anymore!" I have heard both of these things - everything in our lives has to do with sharing food and if you won't do that anymore, you can't play in my sandbox.

I've been eating WFPB for 4.5 years so people in my life are used to me. And I can think of 3-4 friends who are content to eat the way I eat when we are together, to go to restaurants where I can find compliant (or almost compliant) food, and to cook me nutritious food at their homes. But it's hard!!! Really hard!!

Back to practical - if you are coming here and can manage it, bring some personal things to make it feel like home. I brought a quilt that I made and a book my son wrote and even a stuffed animal, just to cozy it up a bit. Oh, and a water bottle to carry around - you sure do drink a lot of water (or vodka, who can tell) around here.

Attending a few classes today - a cooking demonstration by Katie Mae in the morning - the food sure smelled good!!! And in the afternoon, a lecture by a chiropractor about exercise and a food strategy class by another employee. Nice to be in but not big take-aways for me since I have been eating his way for quite awhile.

Enough blathering. More tomorrow. Eat something delicious for me today!